"Ultimately our gift to the world around us is hope. Not blind hope that pretends everything is fine and refuses to acknowledge how things are. But the kind of hope that comes from staring pain and suffering right in the eyes and refusing to believe that is all there is." ~Rob Bell~

i learned a lot on the mission trip, and the past couple of weeks in general. i started letting go of years of pain. i showed my weaknesses. and i finally understood something i didn't see before.

Jesus loves me when _____.

you can fill in the blank for yourself. the blank is anything and everything you do. we all shared our blanks that night in Adam and Daniel's room. Jesus loves me when i'm sharing the Gospel, just as Jesus loves me when i'm passed out drunk on the floor. Jesus loves me when i'm teaching little kids just the same as He loves me when i'm shooting up. Jesus loves me when i'm praising him exactly how He loves me when i'm alone, crying, hurting myself.

it's all the same.

no matter what i do, He loves me the exact same. nothing i do will change that. good works won't make Him loves me more, screwing up doesn't made Him love me any less. it's already infinite. like...i just can't get over it. HE LOVES ME ALL THE SAME, ALL THE TIME.

i don't get it.

1 Cor 2:10-16

The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.  For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:

"For who has known the mind of the Lord
that he may instruct him?"

But we have the mind of Christ.

"If there is a divine being who made everything, including us, what would our experiences with this being look like? The moment God is figured out with nice neat lines and definitions, we are no longer dealing with God. We are dealing with somebody we made up. And if we made him up, then we are in control. And so in passage after passage, we find God reminding people that he is beyond and bigger and more.

"The Christian faith is mysterious to the core. It is about things and beings that ultimately can't be put into words. Language fails. And if we do definiteively put God into words, we have at that very moment made God something God is not.

"I am far more interested in jumping than I am in arguing about whose trampoline is better. You rarely defend the things you love. You enjoy them and tell others about them and invite others to enjoy them with you.

"God, I can't believe I get to live this life."

life is beautiful.

GOD IS LOVE.

i got something today, and what it says spoke a lot to me:

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthitans 12:9

i have a story to tell. later.

Xanga

SO!!! i made a site! for anna! and by the way this is christine, the coolest person IN THE WORLDD!!! dum dum dummm

neway...have fun!